I’m sure everyone has one. I’m sure of it. Some people let out loud farts, others sneeze & a huge glob of snot hits another person’s leg / shirt / face / hair. Some joggers shit in their pants in the middle of a race (huh? what? yes I kid you not).
When I reach the finish line, they will all. admire. my. bravery!
Ok, let’s just start with a few more embarrassing photos that I found across the internet.
Look ma! I’ve got a great ass!
I was getting on the MRT this morning & you know how pack the trains can be in the morning. Everyone rushing for work. I got into the train & I could not hold on to any of the handle bars for support. Just TOO MANY freakin people in the train.
The train this morning was extra jerky. It accelerated & I leaned against someone. It stopped & I stumble forward. It was HORRIBLE. I almost wanted to walk to the front of the cabin & drag that train driver out & puke in his mouth.
But then there was this one extra jerky stop & everyone in that train stumbled a little. I would have been able to maintain my balance if not for this one stupid kid who gave me an extra bump in the shoulder.
I lost my balance & by instinct my right hand immediately reached out to grab on to a handle bar, but I missed.
I grabbed a woman’s boob instead.
EMBARASSING for both her AND me.
Because of the force of my falling momentum, I think I almost tore the bra off her chest. She had to quickly grab on to her shirt & readjust her bra before her nipple pops out in front of the hundreds of strangers on the train.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I RATHER FALL FLAT ON MY FACE!!!!
Still, I was trying to play it cool, you know. I glanced up at her calmly (and looking very sorry) to apologize softly & turned around pretending that nothing bad had happened. Yo I’m cool… yeah… cool… no biggie, yo.
But in my head I was going…
“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?! I AM SO SO SORRY!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SORRY WITH THE BURNING PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!!!!!!!! I’M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*one big long hard-to-swallow gulp*
The rest of the journey I was half-expecting her to punch me in the face or bawl out crying.
And my imagination could hear slow-motion cruel laughter from those people who saw what happened, “… *slow-mo*… MWAAAAAAAA… HAAAAAA… HAAAAAAA… HAAAAA… HAAAAAAA… … WAHHHHHHH… HAAAAA… HAAAAAAAAA….. HAAAAAAA… HAAAAAAAA”
Besides bowing my head in shame, I do not know what else I can do to make things better for that woman.
God. I pray that she will not be as traumatised as me.