Depressed… Self-Conscious…

16 Aug

:-*/

You know what that icon above represents?

That asterisk is not a tear.  It is a goddamn cold sore so big & painful that it pushes 1 side of my mouth downwards.  SERIOUS!

Have you ever had a cold sore or not?!  Once you have this virus in your body, it NEVER. GOES. AWAY.  It will reoccur over & over again.  How unfortunate is that?!?!

I AM SO DEPRESSED!!!  It’s ugly & it HURTS like %^#&@*!!!!!!

Whenever I get cold sores, I am the butt of all jokes.

Never wash mouth ah

Kiss too much, is it

Tell your bf dun let you use your mouth too much

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

For the very last time, cold sores occurs when:

1)  a person is under stress or is going thru emotional upset

2)  a person is under physically stress & fatigue

3)  a person is ill (fever, flu, etc)

4)  a person goes thru hormonal changes

5)  there is trauma to the skin (injury to lips or skin)

6)  there is exposure to ultraviolet lamps or excessive exposure to sunlight

7)  there is an immune system deficiency

8)  there is a negative reaction to cosmetic products

And NOT becuz of kissing / not washing mouth / or whatever dirty thought you have in your head right now, you dirty fellow you.  Go & purify your brain!!!

To make matters WORSE (x 1000000000000), it doesn’t help that cold sores are also known as fever blisters or……………….. Herpes SimplexVirus (HSV).

SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

HERPES.  I know what alllllllllllll of you are thinking now.

Herpes is some kind of sexual disease, right?

RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!

… …

… …

… …

WRONG.

… …

… … ok fine.  Right.  BUT, not ENTIRELY right.

There are 2 types of HSV.

TWO types, ok.

Two ENTIRELY different types (must stress heavily on this).

Type I and Type II.

Cold sores around the lips & sometimes nose areas are usually caused by Type I.  It is NON-SEXUAL.

It is Type II that is that sexual disease one, ok???

Based on research findings, 80% of the human population actually carries the HSV Type I in their blood.  But most ppl have the antibodies to subdue it.

Most ppl, except me.

Ngor mm hor yi cip sao lor*.

Ngor mm hor yi cip sao lor* (cantonese to english translation: i cannot accept this)

Why I don’t have the antibodies to fight against this… … … HERPES.

😦

I am a GIRL.  Girls cannot be uglified like this.  It’s not fair!!!

If I were given a wish, I would wish that only guys will get cold sores.  Or maybe… only evil ppl will get cold sores.

Now everyone is calling me HG.  And it doesn’t stand for HOUGANG.

It’s my… … … …  superhero name.

… …

… …

HERPES GIRL.

Do you have any idea how traumatic it is for me to go thru all these cruel jokes????  Like that, then the herpes will never go away.

You know why?!?!?!?!  Because with all these taunting, I am:

1)  a person under stress or/and going thru emotional upset (becuz keep feel paranoid about ppl making fun of me)!!!

2)  a person under physically stress & fatigue (lack of sleep & proper eating becuz of ppl making fun of me)!!!

So, please… if you have a friend who has these cold sores, don’t make fun of them.  It’s only fun to you, but it’s not fun for the person having cold sores.

Looks like, right?  The  :-*/  emoticon is the perfect look for me now.

I need a permanent solution to my depressing problem.

Feeling depressed & needs reassurance now…

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9 Responses to “Depressed… Self-Conscious…”

  1. Christi 27 October 2010 at 12:46 PM #

    Aw this makes me sad. I was just looking stuff up cause I was scared I might have gotten it but theres no full way of knowing until I get tested. Im so sorry it sucks I wish it didnt exist and alot of thoughs people wont understand unless they get it to whitch I wouldnt wish on anybody but sometimes people only understand when there in your shoes. I hope your friends dont tease you. I hope one day soon you can get the antibiotics so you can stop being teased cause people are messed up and theres probly always going to be evil people putting you down it sucks but thats just how things go sometimes.

    • Berry Mii 27 October 2010 at 2:34 PM #

      :-*) !!!!!!! *touched*… your email totally made me feel so so much better! Thanks, Christi!!! you are right. people will never know what it feels like unless they experience it themselves. after so many months, it has finally managed to get better but I am so afraid that it might attack me again! Thank you for your comment, I really really appreciate it! hope to see you around my blog more often!

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